Self-Protection vs. Vulnerability: Letting the Walls Come Down

Jun 23

Dear one, do not be afraid. Yet, you are afraid. You are afraid of so many things. Do you see how you hide from what you fear? Do you see how you try to protect yourself from what you think will hurt you? May I take the walls down, and will you step out? May I be your hiding place?

There are so many things we feel are threats to us. Not just physically–but emotionally. It takes faith to be vulnerable, not to build bunkers of self-protection when we have been hurt in the past. It takes courage to entrust our hearts to God, surrendering to Him, rather than using efforts of self-protection (emotionally shutting down and/or controlling others) to try to create a sense of safety.

Today, let’s be brave. Let’s encounter God. For the sake of our healing let’s ask Him in what ways we try to self-protect. Let’s hear what He has to say.

* * *

Get ready for God to speak to you. He is in you, guiding you. Can you feel Him? Let Holy Spirit guide you toward a place to sit or lie down. Get comfortable, placing everything down so your hands are open and free. Let them rest in your lap, palms open, and begin breathing deeply–with slow and intentional inhales and exhales of breath for two to three minutes:.

Inhale: “With your love”
Exhale: “You calm all my fears.”
Inhale: “You rejoice over me:
Exhale: “With joyful songs.”

As you continue to settle into God’s presence, let your heart consider the following verse, imagining and thinking about God and his love for you:

“For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs” (Zephaniah 3:17).

Your God is with you, a gentle shepherd watching over you, a mighty savior protecting you–a Father who loves you, who sings over you, who never leaves. What is He inviting you to trust Him with now–what troubles, concerns, or distractions? Try to name–and give each one to Him–now.

Lord, I trust You with and give you . . .

Next, imagine God speaking these words to you now:

“You are holding many things–taking care of many things. But who is holding you? Who is carrying your heart?”

At the root of self-protection is fear. Self-protection can sometimes look like (1) shutting down/not allowing people access to our hearts or (2) wanting to control other people’s perceptions of us. When we self-protect, we refuse vulnerability and, instead, shut down our hearts, making it more difficult to allow God in. We struggle to feel–or attend to–our emotions, and we become shells of who we really are.

With Holy Spirit’s help (listening for His voice within you) have a conversation with God or Jesus and try to answer the questions below. Consider writing down your answers in your journal.

What am I most afraid of?
What do I do in the face of that fear?
How might I seek self-protection rather than vulnerability when I am afraid?

Another conversation topic might be to ask Jesus how He entrusted his emotions to the Father.

Jesus, how did You stay vulnerable and open to God rather than self-protect?

Finally, spend some time with the following verses from Psalm 18, letting Holy Spirit guide you deeper into what He has for you. You might want to underline the words or phrases that illustrate God’s character–and use the margins (or your journal) to write your own Psalm/letter/song to God:

“Lord, I passionately love you and I’m bonded to you,
for now you’ve become my power!
You’re as real to me as bedrock beneath my feet,
like a castle on a cliff, my forever firm fortress,
my mountain of hiding, my pathway of escape,
my tower of rescue where none can reach me.
My secret strength and shield around me,
you are salvation’s ray of brightness shining on the hillside,
always the champion of my cause.
All I need to do is to call to you,
singing to you, the praiseworthy God.
When I do, I’m safe and sound in you.
For when the ropes of death wrapped around me
and terrifying torrents of destruction overwhelmed me,
taking me to death’s door, to doom’s domain,
I cried out to you in my distress, the delivering God,
and from your temple-throne you heard my troubled cry”
(Psalm 18: 1-6, TPT).