The Things We Hold

Jun 2

There is more you hold than what is good and bad, good and evil. For you hold all of these things. And to choose to see only pieces of what you hold–being blind to what, in yourself, you’ve deemed good or bad–is using your measuring stick to decide what is worthy of love–whether you are worthy of love. And what if I told you I see everything and I hold it all–that I hold all of you? I love what I love. Who you are. Right now. You. So what are you holding? How are you discerning and judging, calculating and deciding value and shame and worth? You are mine. Empty what you are holding. All of it. Give all of it–all of yourself–to me.

* * *

Choose a simple water glass, jar, or vase and take it with you to a place to linger that feels perfect for you this day–a place where you can relax. Lay down if you want. Or sit. Tuck pillows under your head or back and pull a blanket over your shoulders. Light a candle; put on headphones; play instrumental music–anything that will help your heart awake, be ushered into peace and God’s presence.

When you are all settled, put everything down so that you hold nothing in your hands, and take a deep breath–in…out. Repeat this deep breathing for a few minutes as you align your heart with God’s. Consider praying this prayer as you breathe:

Holy Spirit, you are welcome here.
You are welcome in my heart.

Dedicate this time to God.

Lord, I consecrate my mind and my heart and give you my thoughts–every worry and concern and distraction now.

Be specific as you name the things on your mind and surrender all of them to God.

Lord, I give you……I give you….

Now, as you sit here with the Father, Jesus, and/or Holy Spirit, imagine God asking you this question:

What, now are you holding? What are you holding in your heart?

Allow Holy Spirit to speak to your heart as you listen for his voice, for we hold many things. Mistakes and wisdom. Messes and beauty. Sorrows and hope. Worries and freedom. Shame and glory. Disappointment and dreams. So many things we classify as “good” and “bad.” And we tend to be happy with the good things and feel shame about the bad.

Spend a few moments creating a list—or a diagram (like a Venn diagram of circles)–in your journal of the things you hold in your heart that you have classified as “good” or “bad” in your life (examples of mistakes, regrets, and disappointments, as well as examples of love, beauty, and joy).

Father, what am I holding that I can’t even see?

After spending about 10-15 minutes conversing with God to create your diagram of the things you hold, read Luke 7: 36-50. Read it slowly and carefully, allowing God to open your mind and heart to what he says to you through this scripture.

As you read, consider imagining yourself as the woman in the scene–but the jar you bring, filled with precious oil, is everything you hold–everything you have written on your list or diagram, all the “good” and the “bad.”

To help yourself imagine yourself in the scene as the woman, close your eyes and consecrate to God your imagination, allowing him to help you be in the room.

Jesus, help me to be in this situation with you. Help me to hold nothing back and give you all of me now. Help me hold nothing back.

Consider your internal dialogue as you (1) prepare to enter the home of the Pharisee with all that you hold in your jar (2) bend low, crying, over Jesus’ feet, (3) kiss his feet and wet his feet with your tears, (3) break open the jar with everything that you hold, dry his feet with your hair, and anoint his feet with your all.

Stay here, within this moment, in this space with Jesus. Feel the texture of his feet as your fingers move over each toe. Feel the wetness of your tears as your heart breaks. What does he do when you open the container of all you’ve been holding and spill it at his feet? Hear his voice speaking to you. How do you respond?

Luke 7:36-50

36 Afterward Simeon, a Jewish religious leader, asked Jesus to his home for dinner. Jesus accepted the invitation. When he went to Simeon’s home, he took his place at the table.

37 In the neighborhood there was an immoral woman of the streets, known to all to be a prostitute. When she heard that Jesus was at Simeon’s house, she took an exquisite flask made from alabaster, filled it with the most expensive perfume, went right into the home of the Jewish religious leader, and in front of all the guests, she knelt at the feet of Jesus. 38 Broken and weeping, she covered his feet with the tears that fell from her face. She kept crying and drying his feet with her long hair. Over and over she kissed Jesus’ feet. Then, as an act of worship, she opened her flask and anointed his feet with her costly perfume.

39 When Simeon saw what was happening, he thought, “This man can’t be a true prophet. If he were really a prophet, he would know what kind of sinful woman is touching him.”

40 Jesus said, “Simeon, I have a word for you.”

“Go ahead, Teacher. I want to hear it,” he answered.

41“It’s a story about two men who were deeply in debt. One owed the bank one hundred thousand dollars, and the other only owed ten thousand dollars. 42 When it was obvious that neither of them would be able to repay their debts, the kind banker graciously wrote off the debts and forgave them all that they owed. Tell me, Simeon, which of the two debtors would be more thankful? Which one would love the banker most?”

43 Simeon answered, “I suppose it would be the one with the greater debt forgiven.”

“You’re right,” Jesus agreed. 44 Then he spoke to Simeon about the woman still weeping at his feet.

“Do you see this woman kneeling here? She is doing for me what you didn’t bother to do. When I entered your home as your guest, you didn’t think about offering me water to wash the dust off my feet. Yet she came into your home and washed my feet with her many tears and then dried my feet with her hair. 45 You didn’t even welcome me into your home with the customary kiss of greeting, but from the moment I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You didn’t take the time to anoint my head with fragrant oil, but she anointed my head and feet with the finest perfume. 47 She has been forgiven of all her many sins. This is why she has shown me such extravagant love. But those who assume they have very little to be forgiven will love me very little.”

48 Then Jesus said to the woman at his feet, “All your sins are forgiven.”

49 All the dinner guests said among themselves, “Who is the one who can even forgive sins?”

50 Then Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith in me has given you life. Now you may leave and walk in the ways of peace.”